Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Retired IBM Scientist Invents New Theory of Life

Isaac Newton
Classical theory of gravity

The classical theory of  human life assumes that life follows a sequence of stages: infancy,  childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and finally retirement (or second childhood).  Just as Newton's classical theory of gravity was adequate until scientists developed the ability to measure the orbit of mercury to unreasonable accuracy; this theory of life served well from pre-historic times until the mid-1950s when advances in medical science began prolonging life beyond all reasonable limits.

Now, just as Einstein's theory of gravity extended Newton's classical theory (allowing accurate calculation of stellar position during total eclipses and the observed orbit of mercury),  Dr. C. Leonard Berman, retired IBM scientist, has developed a theory of life which accurately describes the developmental progression observed in 21st century humans.

Albert Einstein
Relativistic Theory of Gravity
C. Leonard Berman
IBM, retired
 As with Einstein's theory, Dr Berman's theory agrees with the classical theory of life within most ranges; however, Dr. Berman's theory extends the classical through the addition of a second adolescence and second infancia which are now frequently observed in subjects whose lifespans have been extended by modern medicine.

Just as the classical second childhood is characterized by a renewed interest in the board games and sporting events of childhood, the second adolescence is characterized by renewed interest in dangerous hobbies (fast cars, sky-diving), travel to exotic locations, 
and/or the barely clad human figure.

The second infancia is characterized by loss of bowel and bladder control, inability to eat hard food, use of strollers or other locomotive devices, and periods of sudden, unexplained napping.  (http://alturl.com/ob28t)