Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Perfect tool, WOO!

I find myself surprised to be sitting around learning from the younger generation but I am happy as well.  Happy, both to be learning from our youth and to be evaluating a local home grown product currently available in Barcel*n@.

Today, I was experimenting with my new apparatus: a {'gravity','waterfall','from common household items'} bong.  A friend of mine from college, who may or may not remember, once said that everything was possible  given the correct tool and that a joint was generally the correct tool. ([send before midnight tonite]:You can be named by request.)  I have held this observation as one of the sacred jewels which I took when I left the noble institution, The California Institute of Technology, with my B.S. and the police wondering where I was.  

Well things have changed a bit since then, but until now I have been aware of no tool which can be conveniently applied more readily and in more different environments that the simple joint.  Today, however, after painstakingly crafting my bong from an empty five liter water bottle, an empty 2 liter water bottle, and a small piece of tin foil (using a kitchen knife as the only tool - yes dear, I did), I can confidently report that, in the above 60 age group, and for use in certain environments only, the (improved) gravity bong is being awarded an official designation as the perfect tool.

While I agree that the somewhat limited portability of the bong does weigh heavily against it; it's ability to deliver a concentrated application of medicine in a pre-smoked container, creates  social possibilities which extend the concept of a bar into new ground.

What is to me even more interesting is that the bong also allows a reveler to reach the 'Woo'.  Until recently, I had not been personally acquainted with the concept of Woo; it is the moment of reaching the next  band of quantum levels of intoxication.  You may vary significantly within a band, but the band typically remains in tact for a period of time at the end of which, you either go up to the next band or down one (or more) band(s).  DUH!@#$%.

One of the major difficulties of the joint vector is that, especially when employed with large groups, it is unreliable.  A joint is launched.  It may or may not return.  The improved gravity bong provides a portable, personalized, adjustable vector: the gravity vector.  Become a user.  So you don't forget (you stoned fucker) Send before midnite tonite.

But really, the plan is to do a full demo on You tube.  My entry into performance or perhaps, who knows, presented by Mrs. C. Leonard Berman.  We can only hope.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

You know you're in the twenty first century when -

You are sitting on the couch watching a list of disease names being loaded into your mobile phone.

Is being aware of how different things are, how I first feel old.  This is not just how things are, it is different, unexpected, noteworthy, ...  More disturbing than a bad knee or bifocals. It is who I am not where I live.

Another beautiful day in paradise.  Tuesday, back from Paris @midnight: exhausted.  Wed@2, J's friend of 50 years and family.  Today, dash to Paul for emergency bread.  Beach, lunch, wine, smoke, relax. The second adolescence.  There is something about not knowing the limits.

Somewhere or time I thought that the difference was between having and making memories.  In adolescence, you make memories.  In old, you have them.  I led a quiet and simple life.  I'll make a few now.

So I hear about Tumblr and think I should check it out and can't figure out how to register.  Is this the facebook-killer, the google-++?   Meanwhile, I do find things there that I am interested by.  Not sure what it is but....

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

21st Century

My kindle died on Saturday.  I was devastated.  We will be away and what would I read.  On skype to Amazon.  They are very sorry and they will send you a replacement immediately even  though you are now in Spain and not where you originally ordered from.  And they do.  And it is by UPS and sent from Kentucky and arrival is promised to happen on Wed.  I sit around, smoking, waiting, until ... it arrives.  And it does. And the guy who brings it is wear(where)ing brown shorts and the machine is as at home.  I remember a time when being in Europe meant being away.